Finding Calm in a Busy Season: Holiday Routines for Young Children

Elizabeth Medellin, ​Child and Family Counselor

The holiday season can bring joy, excitement, and meaningful family traditions. It can also bring busy schedules, financial pressures, changes in routines, and added responsibilities. While adults are balancing these demands, young children are experiencing these changes alongside us.

For young children, even exciting changes can feel overwhelming. Different bedtimes, unfamiliar faces, busy environments, and less time for connection may lead to stronger emotions, increased clinginess, or difficulty with transitions.

The good news? We don't need to make every day predictable or every holiday perfect. Small moments of connection, familiar routines, and supportive relationships can help children feel secure, even when life gets busy.

Why Predictable Routines and Rituals Matter During the Holidays

Young children feel more secure when they have an idea of what comes next. Daily routines such as meals, playtime, and bedtime provide a sense of familiarity. Family rituals, such as singing a favorite song, sharing a hug before leaving home, or reading together, add comfort and connection.

When holiday plans change, try keeping one or two familiar moments in your child's day.

• Morning: Begin with your usual greeting, song, or cuddle.

• During the day: Make room for uninterrupted play and moments of individual attention.

• Bedtime: Keep a familiar story, song, or handshake, even if bedtime happens later than usual.

Simple Daily Anchors to Keep When Plans Change 

Children notice when things are different, even before they have the words to explain how they feel. Talking about changes ahead of time can help them understand what's happening and what they can expect.

Try saying: "We have a lot happening this week. Tomorrow we are visiting family, and there may be lots of people and sounds. I'll be there with you, and we can take a break together if you need one."

Invite children to participate in ways that match their age and interests. They might choose a song, help stir ingredients, place decorations, or decide which book to bring along. Even babies can be included through your voice, facial expressions, and shared attention.

How to Include Babies in Holiday Traditions 

Even babies can be part of family preparations and traditions! Although they may not understand everything we say, they learn through our voices, facial expressions, familiar interactions, and shared experiences.

While preparing meals, decorating, or getting ready to visit loved ones, talk to your baby about what you're doing. You might say, "We're getting ready to see Grandma today! I'm packing your favorite blanket to bring with us." Allow your baby to safely explore a holiday fabric, listen to familiar family music, or watch you prepare decorations while you describe what is happening.

Notice what captures their attention. If your baby looks toward the music, smiles, or reaches for something, respond to their curiosity. These simple back-and-forth interactions help babies feel connected, included, and secure as they experience new things alongside you.

Managing Holiday Stress: Your Calm Matters

The holidays can bring additional responsibilities, from preparing meals and managing finances to coordinating family gatherings and adjusting daily schedules. With so much happening, it can be difficult to slow down and remain emotionally present with our children.

Remember, children don't need us to be calm all the time. They need us to be available, responsive, and willing to reconnect when moments become difficult.

Quick Grounding Exercises When You Feel Overwhelmed

When we feel stressed or overwhelmed, our bodies may respond before we even recognize what we're feeling. We might notice tension in our shoulders, a faster heartbeat, irritability, or the urge to rush through tasks. Recognizing these signals gives us an opportunity to care for ourselves, too.

Try taking a brief moment to check in with yourself. Place your feet on the ground, relax your shoulders, and take a few comfortable breaths. Ask yourself, "What do I need right now?" Sometimes the answer may be a short break, a glass of water, a quieter environment, or an extra pair of hands.

When appropriate, we can also name our experiences for our children:

"I have a lot to do today, and I'm starting to feel overwhelmed. I'm going to take a little break, and then we can figure out what comes next." These moments help children see that emotions are a natural part of life and that we can find ways to care for ourselves when things feel difficult.

Leaning on Your Village for Holiday Support 

Caring for ourselves also means recognizing when we need support. Asking for help is not a sign that we aren't doing enough; it is one way we care for our families.

Consider asking a trusted family member to help prepare a meal, having a friend assist with errands, sharing responsibilities with your partner, or connecting with neighbors and community resources.

Age-Appropriate Ways Children Can Help 

When possible, invite children into age-appropriate tasks. A toddler might help place napkins on the table, while a preschooler might help choose decorations or organize family greeting cards. These shared experiences provide opportunities for connection without needing to create an entirely separate activity.

And when responsibilities become too much, it's okay to make adjustments. Not every invitation needs to be accepted or every task needs to be completed. Making room for support allows us to offer our children something especially meaningful: our attention, presence, and connection.

Gentle Reminders for Holiday Transitions with Children

• Keeping a few daily routines and rituals can help children feel secure when other parts of their day change.

• Excitement, frustration, sadness, and overwhelm can all be part of the holidays. Children need understanding and support as they navigate these emotions.

• Honor the people, experiences, and traditions that feel meaningful to your family.

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